Warning Signs

Abusers use a pattern of behavior to exercise power and control over their partner. If you are unsure that you are in an abusive relationship, we have listed common behaviors used by perpetrators of intimate partner violence. The warning signs below are indicators that you are experiencing intimate partner violence:

1. Does your partner embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
2. Does your partner put down your accomplishments or goals?
3. Are you made to feel like you are unable to make decisions?
4. Does your partner use intimidation or threats to gain your compliance?
5. Does your partner tell you that you are nothing without them?
6. Does your partner treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove, or hit you?
7. Does your partner call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
8. Does your partner make you feel scared because his/her behavior is unpredictable?
9. Do you feel the need to make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
10. Do you believe you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
11. Do you try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
12. Do you feel like no matter what you do, your partner is never happy with you?
13. Do you always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
14. Do you stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?
15. Does your partner use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
16. Do you blame yourself for how your partner feels or acts?
17. Do you feel pressured to perform sexual acts that you do not want to do?
18. Is your partner jealous in a way that is controlling and demeaning? (questions you about who you talk to, checks your car mileage, complains about how much time you spend with others, and falsely accuses you of cheating or flirting)?
19. Does your partner prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
20. Does your partner try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a lesson"?

If these warning signs exist in your relationship, we encourage you to consider leaving the relationship. Call our hotline today to discuss your options.